Unhappy with being unhappy, and what this had to do with my Himalayan trekking adventure

And the time came when I would have to become a bit of a philosopher in my life. I never liked the subject in college. I didn’t understand any of it. And it made me unhappy. But, seriously, I wanted to know, how to be happy.

I asked myself, what makes me happy? Nothing. Really, I’ve got nothing. Let me look up the definition. Happy, according to Google, is when you feel pleasure or contentment. Hmm. Physical type of pleasure, as in a happy ending? Oh dear. So then happiness must be temporary.

Contentment, that does not sound like happiness to me. Smiling, that’s a sign of happiness. What makes me smile? A raise. Winning the lottery. A new car. Oh boy, this happiness is just plain sad.

Let’s go back to the definition and see what the synonyms reveal: cheerful, merry, joyful. Ok, yes, I feel happiness there.

Let’s keep going: carefree, untroubled. Yes, I think that’s more like it. And more: in good spirits, lighthearted, buoyant, radiant, sunny! Wow, I want happiness. Now!

And we have more: thrilled, elated, exhilarated. And even more: in seventh heaven, on cloud nine, on top of the world! Yes, that’s happy! How do I get it?!

The human being loves signs and symbols. A concept immediately understood. No explanation necessary. On top of the world. Me – on top of the world. Happiness. I must go . . . trekking in the Himalaya.

So, I went. You know how they say, money doesn’t bring you happiness. I had an inkling by now that this must be true. Happiness isn’t outside of me at all. It isn’t more money. Then where is it?

It is a care-free, un-troubled, light-hearted state of mind. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have troubles, like a rusty car, a leaky faucet, a broken tooth, or a broken heart. So long as I attempt to reach that point where everything is “whole” again, happiness will continue to elude me.

Everything is in constant flux. We know about atoms. Constant movement. Earth revolves. Seasons change. I change. I cannot keep things unchanged. In fact, keeping things the same, means life cannot continue. It stops.

Goecha La: On top of the world

So, when I try to control things, that’s when I cause my own unhappiness. I cut myself off from the natural flow of things. I constrain. I block. I stop growing. In order to be happy, there must be change, revolution and evolution in my life. Movement, flexibility, flow.

Although I did pursue happiness symbolically by trekking the Himalaya, I know I don’t need to be physically present there to be happy. But then again, maybe happiness is a physical experience too, like a breath of fresh air. A constant renewal.

Yes, happiness is a state of mind . . . body and spirit.